maybe you'll find this

i want to tell you so much
like how one day you'll meet a kid
who steps on butterflies for fun
and you'll probably hate him
but i want you to think about the possibility that
maybe someone stepped on his wings
and he can't understand how they can fly but he
can't.

.

or like another kid who slit your friend's wrist with the glass from the library door
and killed a snake by thrashing its skull on the sidewalk
and kicked a kitten who had just been run over that morning and was barely holding on.
you'll probably hate him, too.
and i want you to remember
that russian orphanages are no place to learn morals
that severe brain damage is permanent in infants
that some people are just born to be
cruel.

.

and maybe one day you'll find a single Ember in the ashes of a fire.
hopefully you'll save her life by blowing ever so softly
and one day you'll watch her burn into an inferno
but i want you to know
that she's not going to be there forever
that someone's going to make a mistake
and all you'll have left of her is a handful of
feathers.

.

and i want you to remember how you would play board games with your grandmother
and now her favorite piece lays on its side in the box, dormant.
maybe one day when you go to visit your grandfather
you'll realize you haven't given him a hug in three months
and maybe you'll hear nothing but the antique clock in the living room
and you'll realize how quiet it is without
her.

.

i want to tell you so much
but i'm afraid you won't be able to handle it
or you'll forget
or you'll remember
or you won't hear me at
all.

.

_{if you're going to take one thing from this:
keep carrying that pencil around.
maybe one day you'll end up like me
a beautifully ugly, disgustingly sweet, sliver-tongued, tongue-tied
poetess.}